I feel angst, bad angst and low self esteem I really feel hurt! and UGLY!! and stupid and ask myself, Am I that repulsive as a person that I usually meet with utter horror and disdain from the opposite sex? Or is it deeper something about me that they see that I do not!
I am a murederer, no! or rapist, no! or pervert, no! to any of any sort. So what is it?
Could it be that you Carlos are average male? Yes, Yes I think that sounds right, except doctor u forgot to mention that I bipolar and my mind well it can let me down. I tell it stay and my dog takes it for a walk, I say stop and inside my head my mind yells at me.
Son could you gather to learn that for almost every child even the so on so called stud is really a vunerable person, who has just learned tricks to aid him in his craft.
Man no he’s mot a man but he is a aarg…gripefucking stud! Said Carlos.
Why do you say that Carlos? Because look at him he has everything he wants, women, money, power he’s got it all. It’s true Carlos that the stud has everything he wants but the manner he has accumlalted his wealth with force and inconsideration alienates him from others and his behavior will lead him to no longer recognize himself.

I write this as a friend and say that I do not desire to see this published.
NOTHING can ever take away your dignity if you do not let it.
So now maybe you know that there are limits to what feels comfortable to you.
Learn from it, and have fun!

-los